The 12 Days of Cahill Christmas
by The Wheaty Water Fowl
Summary: Spoof of 'The 12 Days of Christmas.' Last lyric: And Some People Fighting Over Krispy Kreme!
1. 12 Food-Throwers

**A/N: New story! Yay! :D**

**Okay, this is supposed to be a spoof of 'The 12 Days of Christmas' as you can probably tell. I've changed the lyrics to fit the Cahills. There will be 12 chapters, in descending order. One will be posted each day, and hopefully, the last one will be posted on Christmas Day :) Hope you like it!**

**Disclaimer: We've gone over this. I'm not good enough to own T39C.**

* * *

_**On the 12th day of Christmas, my family gave to me…**_

_**12 Food-Throwers**_

"Dinner's ready!" yelled Nellie Gomez from the kitchen. The yummy smells wafting from the kitchen made all the other Cahills stop in their tracks and inhale with delight. Nobody ran for the dining room. They walked lazily toward the room, as if savoring the air's flavor until they had to destroy it with their hungry selves.

"I guess the battle can start again later," Dan Cahill said quickly, a grin still on his face after shooting his distant cousin Natalie Kabra with a Nerf gun. "We have to replenish our energy for an even bigger fight."

"Yep," Hamilton Holt agreed. "Later."

Natalie didn't even smack Dan for shooting her. The sudden growl in her stomach distracted her. She glared and pointed at the blond boy. "I'll get you back later, Cahill," she said menacingly.

Dan rushed for the dining room.

* * *

Amy Cahill looked up from her chess game. Ian Kabra was clearly winning, but he had had much more practice against super computers than she had.

"Food?" she said.

Ian nodded. "Food."

Amy stood and jogged to the patio door. She slid the glass open, the chilly December air blowing through the doorway. "Sinead! Ned! Ted! Food!" she called.

The Starlings looked up from their project one hundred yards away. They nodded simultaneously and the boys pushed their rocket-powered snow mobile to the small garage while their sister ran toward the house. They soon caught up with her and the triplets reached the door together. They shrugged off their coats and headed for the dining room, right behind Amy and Ian.

* * *

"Yo, dawgs! Da Wiz has arrived!" Jonah Wizard greeted.

A chorus of "Hey, Jonah," resounded throughout the large room.

Jonah draped his leather jacket over the back of his chair and sat down. "So, what's new?"

"Dan and the Holts had a Nerf gun fight," Amy began, "Ned, Ted, and Sinead are almost done with their snow mobile, and Nellie doesn't think her rolls taste right."

"They don't!" Nellie said. "Look at this."

Nellie picked up a roll, aimed shortly, and threw it against the opposite wall. The food hit the wall and bounced back, hitting a very startled British girl in the forehead.

"Dude!" Dan said. "Perfect aim!"

Natalie fumed. She decided to forgive the babysitter, but Dan would _not_ laugh at her without facing consequences. She picked up another roll and chucked it as his face.

Dan knocked it out of the way with his arm, sending it sailing across the room. The bread hit his sister in the shoulder.

Now there were two girls glaring at him. He shrugged, suppressing laughter. Then he lifted an eyebrow, an evil smile on his face. He stood from his seat slowly, fingered a roll, and yelled "FOOD FIGHT!" before launching it randomly. As soon as it made contact with Reagan Holt's nose, all hell broke loose.

Rolls seemed to be the choice ammunition, and with their hard exteriors and small size, they proved to be excellent missiles. Nellie took pride in this – she had most of the projectiles stashed away in the kitchen. If she ever ran out, all she had to do was quickly dash to her stash.

The three Holt siblings were machines as they pitched countless food items at whoever was in sight.

Sinead and Amy had taken refuge under the table before the fight had even started.

Ian was being pelted by various dinner foods, and was desperately trying to avoid ruining his Armani shirt worse than it already was. He would have joined the two girls under the table, but they had pushed him back out into the fray, proclaiming there was no more room.

As the minutes ticked by, more and more food was splattering on the floor, walls, and sometimes the ceiling. The spilled gravy would certainly leave some sort of stain. The ham stuck to the ceiling, hanging there for a few seconds before slipping off and landing on an unsuspecting cousin.

"What the heck!" Jonah exclaimed, wiping someone's soda out of his eyes. "Dude, that is _not_ cool!"

But as soon as the container of sweet potatoes collided with Natalie's dress, you could feel the rage coming off her in waves.

"ENOUGH!" she screamed.

Everyone dropped the food they were holding in their hands immediately.

Natalie whipped out her dart gun from nowhere. She aimed at each and every one of them, fury blazing in her eyes.

"This. Was. _Designer_," she said through gritted teeth. "Who threw the potatoes?" she demanded.

No one said a word. She studied each face carefully, none betraying any emotion, except for Dan. A bead of sweat trickled down the side of his head. He saw her lips quirk up into an evil smirk and gulped. _Uh oh_.

One trigger pull was all it took and Dan crumpled to the floor, unconscious. Natalie smiled uncharacteristically and sauntered out of the room, humming a One Direction song as she went to change clothes. The room was still silent. No one dared to even breathe.

Then…the person they least wanted to see at that moment walked in the dining room, his face filled with a happy smile.

"Hello, every – " Fiske Cahill started.

Everyone's hearts collectively sped up as they awaited their untimely deaths.

But Fiske only sighed. "I leave for one hour…" He shook his head and noticed Dan sprawled on the floor, drool coming out the side of his mouth. He closed his eyes and rubbed his temples.

"Clean this up," he said. "All of you. Yes, even you, Nellie."

Nellie pushed her bottom lip out, pouting, because she hadn't even started it, _and_ she had to do the dishes anyway.

"I'll be in my office," Fiske said tiredly as he turned to walk away.

Once the man had left, all heads turned to look at each other in surprise. They had all expected something far worse than just cleaning up the mess.

"How come Dan doesn't have to clean? Isn't he the one that threw the first roll?" asked Ned.

Everyone turned to sheepish au pair standing by the far wall. "No," they all said at the same time.

Nellie sighed.

* * *

**How you like? You like? :D**

**More tomorrow!**

**~Callie~**


	2. 11 Booby Traps

**A/N: Next Chapter!**

**Disclaimer: I only own my own ideas.**

* * *

_**11 Booby Traps**_

"Hey, Ian," Dan said. He ran towards the British boy hurriedly. Ian turned.

"What do you want, Daniel?" he replied with a bored tone.

Dan grimaced at the use of his full name, but rushed on. "Come with me. I have to show you something."

Ian was reluctant, Dan could tell, but he put a death grip on his arm and half-dragged him down the hall. They reached a mahogany door with a brass handle. The décor didn't match the rest of the house at all, and Ian was curious as to what lay beyond it.

Dan noticed his expression change and smiled. "You wanna see what's inside, don't you?"

Ian glanced at him, trying to hide his eager smile and smirked inside. "Not really. But, I suppose you're going to force me in there anyway…?"

"You guessed right, Cobra-san," Dan said. He pushed the door opened and took one step inside. He put his hands together and bent at the waist in a mock-bow. "You may enter."

Ian was beginning to get creeped out, so he walked through the doorway and into the room. He hadn't taken more than two steps when he heard the door slam and lock behind him.

"What in the name of – "

"Welcome, welcome! This is your host, Ninja Lord, here to announce your participation in a mysterious game of logic and luck," boomed a voice over hidden speakers in the large room.

Ian spun around, his anger slowly building. "What?" he roared. "What is going on? I demand an explanation!"

The distorted voice laughed heartily. "I will explain, my snake friend. Just give me a few moments to introduce the judges."

"Judges for what?!" Ian wanted to yell, but before he could gather a breath to do so, a light came on, allowing Ian to see some of the space he was in. He only saw up to 10 yards around him, plus the giant window some 15 feet above the ground. Past the window he saw another room, with a table taking up most of the space. Coffee and donuts were spread out on the table, and four people sat in front of it. He couldn't quite make out their faces.

"Our first judge…Sinead Starling."

The person on the far left stood up from her chair and walked closer to the window. Ian could have sworn there was a smug grin on her face.

"Second…Natalie Kabra."

Yes, Natalie was _definitely_ laughing at him as she moved closer to see him.

"Third…Jonah Wizard."

When Jonah got close enough to Ian could see him, the hip-hop star shook his head slowly and drew a finger across his neck subtly. That didn't seem like a good sign.

"And last, but not least…Amy Cahill."

The girl stood and gave him a sympathetic look, like she was the only one not going to enjoy this. At least she had a heart.

"Now," the voice continued, "I shall explain this little contest I have installed."

Ian was starting to sweat. He looked pleadingly at his cousins behind the window, hoping to appeal to at least their sense of mercy. Amy and Jonah looked like they desperately wanted to, but made no move to help.

"Before I tell you the good things about this, I will warn you of the dangers," the robotic voice began. "There are ten obstacles. After each one, you will have to solve some sort of puzzles. Each obstacle and puzzle gets harder as you move on. Let it be known that you very well may lose a limb or a vital organ, but I can assure you – you won't die." The person chuckled softly. "Now to the good news. If you get stuck, or find yourself in need of assistance, you have three opportunities to ask a judge. You can pick any judge you want, but you can only ask them one question. No more than one," the voice repeated. "Aaaand…I'm sorry, that's all the good news. I have nothing else to say. Once again, welcome. Let the game begin!"

Ian waited for something to happen. Maybe a ferocious animal would jump out and attack him, or maybe a pit would open up under his feet and he would fall to his death. But the speaker had promised he would die…you never could tell, though. Ian gulped.

"Um…go," the voice urged. "START, COBRA!"

Ian shook his head to clear his thoughts. Just ahead of him, he saw a giant touch-screen computer. It was all he saw in the room, and he figured it was the first puzzle. Now he just had to find the trap that went with it…

He cautiously started moving toward the computer, glancing nervously left to right, making sure he didn't trip a sensor or step on a hidden trigger.

Ian was now only five steps away from the screen and he figured there wasn't enough room for a trap now. Maybe the voice had lied. Cahills liked to do that. So, with this logic in his brain, Ian took a confident step forward.

And nearly got sliced in half.

He jumped over the saw right as it came out of the concrete floor and rolled to the computer. He breathed heavily from the shock at how close he'd come to not having a head anymore.

He looked back at the judges behind the glass. He could see them staring at him intently, waiting for him to solve the puzzle. He turned back to the computer. A giant green 'Start' button stood out against the light blue background, and he raised a shaky hand to press the button.

A series of numbers appeared on the screen in a sort of grid pattern. Three numbers were missing.

8 1 _  
_ 5 7  
4 _ 2

Ian stared thoughtfully at the screen. There were boxes around the numbers to keep them separated. He found if he touched an empty space in the 3-by-3 grid, a number keypad popped up on the screen. Below the grid was a space for another number.

Magic Number: _

_Oh, I've seen this before_, Ian thought. _I read about Benjamin Franklin a few years ago. He used to do these puzzles all the time_.

It didn't take long for Ian to find the missing numbers and plug in the magic number.

8 1 6  
3 5 7  
4 9 2

Magic Number: 15

The screen slid down into the floor, leaving Ian to see another touch screen, farther away still. Ian shook his head.

"Daniel, what are you gaining from this?" Ian questioned the ceiling, already having figured out that the mysterious voice from before had been Dan.

"Personal entertainment!" chirped the now-restored voice of the annoying American git. "Now run along. You've still got nine puzzles to solve."

Ian growled, but trudged on, being absolutely sure there was no trap directly in front of the computer this time.

After swinging with a rope over a pool of some toxic substance Ian couldn't identify, he came to one of those classic "Who's who?" logic puzzles.

'One Saturday, five friends visited the zoo. Each wore a different color t-shirt and each rushed to see their favorite animal upon arriving at the zoo. Using the clues provided, can you name each child's favorite animal and the color t-shirt they wore?

One of the children wore the t-shirt that was the same color as their favorite animal.

Steven, who was not wearing red, went to the Australian pavilion and Ashlee, who did not visit the lions, wore the yellow shirt.'

And so on and so forth…

Ian almost laughed out loud. This was – literally – child's play.

Inputting the information took shorter than 2 minutes, and he went from one trap to another, one puzzle or riddle to the next. That is, until he reached a slot machine.

More anger bubbled inside him at the stupidity of this little game, but, calmly, he said, "Daniel?"

"Yeessss, my pet?" came the reply.

"I THOUGHT THIS WAS A GAME BASED ON LOGIC?"

"Ohhhh." Dan laughed. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't I say this was a game of 'logic and _luck_'? You'll have to rely on sole luck to get passed the 9th test. Good luck!" Dan said, and laughed again.

Ian grumbled, but pulled the lever. The three wheels spun inside the machine, but all landed on different things. He pulled down again, and was disappointed. Again.

"Stupid Dan and his stupid American machines…" Ian mumbled. "Pointless…absolutely pointless…"

20 minutes passed, and still Ian was standing in front of the slot machine, pulling the lever again and again, each time more forcefully than the next, and each time he got angrier.

"Bloody machine! JUST LAND ON THE SEVENS!"

And with one final yank on the lever, three sevens rolled into place in front of his eyes.

He could hardly believe it. "YES! Whoo!" He actually fist-pumped – such an American thing to do, but he couldn't help himself.

He heard Dan sigh with disappointment. "And I was just about to get the popcorn. Oh, well. One last puzzle, Ian. Go for it."

He saw the last computer screen right where he'd started this pointless journey. The track had made a complete circle around the room, and it was finally almost over. He could even see the judge's window again. He saw Amy give him a subtle thumbs-up while it looked like the other three were arguing about something. He smirked back at her and started forward.

He jumped and ducked and weaved, almost lazily, avoiding the poison darts flying at him from nowhere. Had Dan really run out of good things to throw at him?

Soon, he was zooming through the last puzzle, piecing it together with ease. He could imagine Dan's amazed expression as Ian solved his little riddles faster than Dan could ever dream of.

The last giant screen slid through the floor, and a trap door opened under Ian's feet.

Inside the judge's room, Amy gasped in shock.

* * *

"Dan, I thought you said that was it!"

Her brother laughed behind her and shrugged. "I thought it would be fun to add another that he wasn't warned about.

They watched as Ian grabbed the lip of the pit just in time before he fell.

Even Natalie's eyes widened. She glared at Dan. "Get him out."

Dan's smile faded. "Why?"

"Because I need him. Alive," Natalie retorted. "Do it."

Dan looked to Jonah, the only other guy in the room, for help. All he did was nod. He was siding with Amy and Natalie.

He new Sinead wouldn't agree with him in a million years, so he pressed a button on the control panel in his hands. The other four watched expectantly as the platform raised Ian back up to ground level, and Dan rolled his eyes at their anxiousness. It was just the Cobra. Not someone very important, and he wouldn't have died anyway. The pit wasn't deep enough for that. It was just 15 feet down.

Ian's eyes smoldered at them through the glass, and he made a very rude gesture with his hand. Dan grinned.

"We should go let him out, huh?"

"Yes," confirmed the other four.

* * *

"Daniel, I am going to kill you. No, I'm not joking this time. I'm going to find you while you're sleeping, lift you by your ears, and drop you out your bedroom window," Ian threatened.

"Ooh, _scary_," Dan said. "I thought you were going to sue me," he joked.

"Yo, I thought judges _judged_," Jonah said.

"Oh, yeah! Judges! You're scores!" Dan said.

"Ten," Sinead said.

"Ten," Natalie agreed.

"Ten," Jonah replied.

"Ten," Amy said. "But Dan, you're grounded."

Dan's mouth dropped. "What? Why?"

"You didn't think you could get away with that, did you?" Amy shook her head.

Dan glowered at her. "You can't ground me. Only Nellie and Fiske can do that."

"Okay then. I'll tell them what you did. _Then_ you'll be grounded."

"I'd like to ground you," Ian said. "As in, put you _in_ the ground."

* * *

**~Callie~**


	3. 10 Egyptian Maus

**A/N: Sorry for not posting yesterday, I had a Scholar's Bowl meet, and right afterwards I went and spent the night at a friends' house. I think we all know that writing never gets done with your friends around :P **

**So, I'm posting TWO chapters today, to make up for lost time. AND I didn't have time to reply to reviews last time, because I was in such a hurry. I'll do that at the end of this :)**

**Disclaimer: Don't own it. Never will.**

* * *

_**10 Egyptian Maus**_

"Hey, Amy," Sinead said.

Amy turned. "Yeah?"

"Do you want to see my cloner? I finished it last night. Now we just need to test it out!" she said excitedly.

Amy looked longingly down at _Gone With the Wind_, but set the book down, grabbed her coat and followed her friend outside. They went to the garage, hopped on their ATVs, backed out of the building, and drove to the guest house.

Amy took her jacket off and walked through the lab door. A huge metal device took up almost all of the space in the huge room, standing about 10 feet tall. The circle of metal had a dozen cords and wires coming out of it, all leading to a big control panel in front of the device. Amy looked behind it and saw a huge pile of dead fish.

"Uh…what's with the seafood?" she asked.

"Oh. The only thing I had to test it out with was a dead fish that Ted brought from his fishing trip," Sinead explained. "I threw it in and 10 more came out the back. But hey, at least it works!"

"Uh huh," Amy said absentmindedly. She was thinking about the good part in her book she'd had to leave. She couldn't believe Scarlett still hadn't give up on Ashley yet. They obviously weren't meant to be!

"But I haven't tried anything alive yet. I'm kind of afraid to, actually. I'm not exactly sure how it will turn out," Sinead admitted.

"When do you plan on trying it?" Amy asked.

"I don't…Uh oh," Sinead said. "Saladin, no!"

Amy hadn't noticed Grace's cat walk in the room, but by the time she could open her mouth, Saladin had – lazily – jumped through Sinead's cloning machine.

"NO!" both girls yelled.

A light flashed from the back of the loop, blinding the two for a few seconds. They shielded their eyes and squinted, trying to see what had happened to the beloved cat, but the light blocked everything from sight.

After a few more agonizing seconds of blindness, the flash dulled and finally went out, leaving black spots dancing across their vision at the sudden lack of light. Amy could feel a headache coming, but she shook her head to clear it and gasped.

"Saladin!"

"You mean _Saladins_," Sinead corrected, stunned.

As if in response, 10 _mrrp_s sounded from the ten cats staring at them from on top of the pile of dead fish.

Amy almost laughed at the absurdity. How could there be 10 Saladins wandering around the mansion? And which was the real one?

"How do we tell the original from the clones?" she asked Sinead.

"Eventually the clones will die. It might be a couple days," she answered. Then her eyes flashed with glee and she smiled. "The others need to see this! It's so cool!"

Amy didn't think it was as cool as Sinead did, but she joined her in herding the cats to the mansion.

* * *

"Whoa, Saladin! What did they do to you, dude?" Dan cried.

The rest of the Cahills came into the living room in curiosity after Dan's outburst.

Everyone goggled at the cats, especially a certain British teenager.

"Oh, God," he choked. "As if one monster wasn't enough?"

"Monster?" Amy said. "You only say that because he scratched you yesterday."

"It was a strategically planned attack in an attempt to end my life! Now it has 9 minions to help it carry out its evil plans!" Ian retorted.

"Aww," Nellie said. "Is Ian afwaid of the wittle kitty cat?" He gritted his teeth at her amused face.

"That _thing_ is a nuisance," Ian said, "and you can't expect me to like this, no matter how successful Sinead's machine is."

"We _don't_ expect you to like it. In fact, that's what makes it funny!" Dan said.

"Whatever," Ian said hotly. "I'm leaving. You won't see me again until those stupid cats are gone."

Apparently none of the Saladins liked being called a stupid cat. They hissed as he turned around to walk away.

He stopped. "Please tell me they aren't preparing to lunge."

"Oh, they are," Jonah said. "Better run, dude."

Ian took off at a sprint just as the first cat sprang. He turned the corner and ran as fast as he could down the hall. It wasn't long before the cousins in the living room heard a scream and something shattered as it fell to the floor.

The Cahills laughed.

"This might just be an awesome Christmas if funny things keep happening like this," Dan said, wiping tears of mirth from his eyes.

* * *

**Wow. I think I like torturing Ian a _little_ too much. Is that bad? :3**

**Replies:**

**Goth Bookworm: Thanks for reading! I don't think Ian needs much sympathy in this instance, but I can't help but feel sorry for the guy :P**

**Stonehenge16: Uh...I'm not much in to the whole 'fashion loop', so I can't come up with any designer brands off the top of my head. I would tell you if I knew, though! **

**readinfreak3546: You LOVE? :'D Thanks! That's awesome! It made me laugh how you used the same word-foreign-accent as I did to reply. The accent I was thinking of reminds me of a guy with a mustache. :{D**

**JessCPK: I think it would be hard to wake him up from a Lucian poison, though... ;D Thanks for reading!**

**THGFAN101: Thanks!**

**The Gone Angel: Wow, you've reviewed A LOT of my stories and I've never replied. I'm sorry! D: But I'll reply to this real quick :P  
You said I'M hilarious? Coming from YOU, the queen of hilarity, that made my day. And I'm glad you chose to read THIS reunion story when you don't read many :D**

**Kanastasia: Thanks! You're a 1D fan I'm guessing? My sister is a FANATIC :P**

**I forgot to mention...**

**If any of you have any suggestions for lyrics, I am ALL EARS! Seriously! It's hard to come up with titles that go with the song, syllable-wise, AND that match something that might happen at a Cahill reunion. If you have any ideas, PLEASE let me know!**

**~Callie~**


	4. 9 Poisoned Darts

**A/N: At this point in writing the story, I was struggling to come up with lyrics. Suggestions would be UBER helpful :)**

**Disclaimer: ...No 39 Clues authorisms for THIS fanfictioner...**

* * *

_**9 Poisoned Darts**_

"Daniel! I give my shoes back!" Natalie ordered.

"Make me!" he yelled back to her.

"Okay!" she chirped happily. Dan stopped running to see what she meant by that response, but collapsed before he could fully turn around.

Natalie strutted over to the sleeping boy, grabbed her dropped heels from the floor, smirked at Dan's form, and walked away, leaving five other stunned Cahills watching with dropped jaws.

"Natalie!" Amy shouted. "I hope you had a better reason for shooting my brother than your shoes!"

"Don't worry!" Natalie replied. "I did."

Ian scoffed. "I'm sure."

Natalie shrugged.

"What else did he do?" Sinead asked.

"He poured an unknown substance into my shampoo bottle. Honestly, he couldn't have come up with something more original?" Natalie shook her head in dismay.

"How did you know he did that? Your hair looks normal," Reagan commented.

Natalie flipped her hair over her shoulder. "Lucky for me, it had an ungodly smell to it. I knew exactly what he'd done when I took a step into the bathroom."

"Oh," Reagan said.

"So you shot him with your dart gun?" Jonah said. "That's low, dude."

_Click_.

Jonah slumped in his chair.

"Natalie!" four voices exclaimed.

She put on an innocent face. "What? I am not a 'dude'."

Her brother face-palmed. "I thought you'd be used to Jonah's slang by now. Are you on a shooting rampage again?"

Ian was no longer talking.

Amy rubbed her temples. "Natalie…" she groaned. "Please stop."

Natalie giggled and the three girls left looked at her with alarm on their faces. Was she crazy?

"You're, like, trigger-happy," Reagan observed.

Sinead's eyes widened. "Natalie, don't…!"

She grabbed the gun just as Natalie was aiming at the Holt twin. Unfortunately, she grabbed the barrel as Natalie fired and the dart went into her hand.

Amy stood and walked out of the room, shaking her head. She heard the unmistakable sound of another shot as Reagan went down.

She found Nellie singing and making lunch in the kitchen. She leaned against the counter and rested her hands on the smooth marble.

Nellie pulled out an earbud without looking at her. "What's up, kiddo?"

Amy sighed. "Natalie's at it again."

Nellie stopped chopping lettuce. "Really? Again?"

Amy opened her mouth to confirm it, but something halted her words. A small silver object whizzed in front of her, almost nailing her nose. She jerked back and whipped toward the kitchen doorway. "What the hell!"

"Oh, you're kidding me," Nellie said. She held up the remains of her lettuce. A dart had lodged itself into the leaves, narrowly missing her hand.

Natalie huffed in the doorway. "Why did you leave? I was talking."

"You weren't talking," Amy retorted. "You were shooting."

Natalie held up her gun and took aim, and Amy braced herself. _Click_.

Nothing happened.

Natalie's eyebrows furrowed and she pursed her lips. "Oh, shoot. Out of darts. You two stay here."

She walked out of the room.

The two girls made a silent agreement and ran to the living room. They pulled open the drawer of an end table and pulled out two of their _own_ guns – with specially designed darts, much like the Lucian models, courtesy of five Madrigal scientists.

They heard a bone-chilling, "I'm back!" from the hallway and they ducked behind the couch.

Natalie sauntered in casually, looking around for her targets. She heard a sniff from behind the couch. Too easy.

Nellie shrugged apologetically to the freaked-out teen beside her. "I have the sniffles," she whispered.

Amy put her fingers to her lips. She heard another dart pierce the fabric of the couch.

The two Madrigals rolled out from behind the furniture and shot their weapons at the exact same time. Nellie hadn't had much target practice before, and her dart sailed harmlessly past the surprised British girl.

Amy, however, had taken it upon herself to make sure she new how to shoot a gun a year ago, in case she needed those skills in an emergency, and this seemed like an emergency to her. She could have sworn Natalie had glared at her before she fell to the carpeted floor, fast asleep.

The two remaining Cahills stood. They looked at each other.

"How did this all start, anyway?" Nellie wondered.

Amy explained it to her.

"Oh, Dan." Nellie shook her head. "If only you weren't a kleptomaniac."

* * *

**Hopefully, I'll be able to post a new chapter tomorrow without delay. If my creativity will stretch that far...hmmm...**

**Ideas? Even something totally out-there can be used for a chapter. Sometimes the weirdest things give my inspiration. DO NOT HESITATE TO SEND THEM!**

**~Callie~**


	5. 8 Butter Socks

**A/N: ...Okay, we're all going to pretend I posted this late last night.**

**My timing is so horrible! Ugh!**

**This story was inspired by an idea from readinfreak3546! Thanks for your input! :D**

* * *

_**8 Butter Socks**_

Dan walked down the stairs and into the living room. In his hands were what looked like socks, but there was something at the end of them that was weighing them down. Amy looked at him, confused and suspicious.

"Dan?" she said.

He didn't stop twirling the socks. "Yeah?"

"What are those?"

Dan smiled, still spinning. "My butter socks."

"Butter socks?" Amy repeated. "You put butter…in socks."

"Uh huh," Dan said. "Isn't it awesome? Be careful, though. The butter's hard, and take it from Ham – it hurts."

"Did you hit him with those?" Amy shook her head. "Wasn't he mad at you?"

"Yeah," Dan scoffed. "But he won't get near me when I got THESE!"

He let out a ninja cry and whipped his weapons around, hitting a lamp and sending it crashing to the floor. It shattered.

"God, Dan!" Amy yelled, standing up. "That's the third time!"

Dan shrugged. "Sorry."

"Oh, you will be," someone said from the doorway. "You'll be sorry you ever hit me with that thing in your hands!"

Dan paled and started backing away, his hands up in defense. "Hamilton…just calm down, buddy…you don't _really_ want to beat me up…"

Amy looked back and forth between both boys. "I think he does."

"Shut up!" Dan whispered.

Amy stepped in front of the Holt just as he lifted his fist to pummel her brother. "Whoa, calm down, Ham. Isn't there another way to settle this?"

Hamilton's face turned from a dark red to a dull pink. "Maybe."

Dan gulped. "How?"

Hamilton smiled. "You know…that butter sock is a pretty effective weapon…"

"Okay, okay, as much as I'd like to see that, you can't beat my brother with his own socks," Amy said.

Hamilton shook his head. "I wasn't thinking that. I meant we could settle this like ancient people did."

Amy and Dan stared at him as if they didn't know what he was talking about.

Hamilton sighed in exasperation. "On the battlefield!"

"Oh," the Cahills said simultaneously.

"So, like, with weapons and stuff?" Dan confirmed. "Sweet!"

"Yeah!" Hamilton said, thinking his idea was getting better and better by the second. "And, like, you could have _your_ army, and I could have _my_ army! And both sides would have different weapons!"

"Please don't tell me you're going to drag the others into this," Amy groaned. "I don't want to see a freaking bloodbath in my backyard because of butter socks."

Hamilton waved her off. "It'll be fine. They'd be all for it!"

* * *

"Absolutely not," Ian said.

"Aw, come on!" Dan pleaded. "It's not like you're _really_ gonna get hurt!"

Ian snorted. "Isn't that what you said when you decided to send me through that game of hell you invented?"

"No," Dan corrected. "I said you wouldn't _die_. This is completely different."

Ian crossed his arms. "I don't see how. I could very well die if that Holt gets to me."

"Oh, Hamilton? Pfft." Dan waved his hand like the idea was completely stupid. "Come on, he's not _that_ strong…"

"Okay, then." Ian grinned smugly. "You don't need me that bad."

"Uh…" Dan struggled for a way to get Kabra on his side, but saw that his chances were slim. His shoulders slumped.

"Whatever."

Ian chuckled as the defeated boy left to find someone else to recruit.

* * *

"Hey, Ian," Hamilton said. He draped a meaty hand across his shoulder. "How would you like to fight Dan with me?"

Ian pretended to think about it, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. He shrugged. "Okay."

"Sweet!" Ham held up a hand for a high-five and Ian reluctantly slapped it.

"Why did you agree so easily?" Hamilton asked.

"Because I've been wanting to get back at him," Ian said simply. "And I've never gotten the chance to. This seems like good enough revenge. What are we using as weapons?"

"I was thinking paintball guns," Hamilton said.

"Good enough," Ian said.

* * *

Jonah looked back and forth between the two teams, Dan and his companions each holding two butter socks, and Hamilton's group all armed with paintball guns.

"Alright, yo. I wanna clean fight," Jonah said.

"That will be kind of hard with our guns," Ian said.

Jonah stared at him. "Lemme finish."

Ian shrugged.

"No one comes out seriously injured, kay?" Jonah corrected. "Last group standing wins. When I blow the whistle, you can start. Just let me get outta the way first."

As Jonah ran from the yard to the patio, Ian looked quizzically at Dan. "How exactly did you manage to recruit my sister, Daniel?"

Dan smiled. "I have no idea."

Natalie flipped her hair. "How did you give in to the brainless Dolt?"

Hamilton bristled. "You better watch it, Cobra. Guns are long-range. Butter socks aren't."

Natalie laughed. "Prepare to be surprised."

"Let's do this!" Reagan shouted.

Her twin shouted, agreeing.

"I still can't believe Hamilton couldn't get his own sisters on his side," Ted whispered to Ned.

"We're at a slight disadvantage with that," Ned said. "The Holt sisters can be almost as dangerous as Natalie."

Ted looked at his other two teammates. "I'm confident in Hamilton's abilities, but I don't know how Ian will contribute."

* * *

Jonah blew the whistle and the two teams ran at each other. He went back and sat down between Nellie and Amy, Sinead on Amy's other side.

"Did any of them ask you to do it?" Jonah asked.

"Both Dan and Hamilton asked me," Amy said. "I said no."

"Hamilton pushed me to do it, too," Sinead said. "I almost said yes, but only because he'd already gotten to my brothers."

"I yelled at Dan to get out of my kitchen before he even opened his mouth." Nellie chuckled. "The knucklehead…"

"Huh." Jonah's eyebrows furrowed. "Nobody asked me. That's a little insulting."

Amy patted his shoulder absentmindedly, intently watching the 'battle', silently praying that no blood would splatter the lawn.

Ned and Ted stood back to back, aiming and shooting, aiming and shooting. Since Ted was blind, he listened to the other teams' footsteps and guessed. Usually he was right and made a direct hit.

Hamilton dived and rolled, avoiding getting hit with Reagan's butter socks and shooting her in the stomach. She landed on her back, but jumped up and again tried to attack him.

Madison tackled Ian to the ground, saving Natalie from an assault while her back was turned. He tried to push her off, but she whacked him in the face with one of her socks and he was left unconscious on the ground.

Ned spoke sideways at his brother. "Told ya."

Ted nodded. "One down."

Every time Hamilton took a shot at Natalie, she easily dodged it and landed a blow with her butter sock. Ham staggered.

She jumped backward, flipped in the air, stuck her foot out, and kicked the Holt square in the jaw.

"Whoa," Dan breathed. "Like a ninja."

Hamilton went down, holding his face.

Natalie stood over him and smirked. "Now who has the better weapon?"

Reagan, Madison, Natalie and Dan all circled the two remaining Starling brothers.

Ted and Ned nervously spun slowly, still back to back, whispering to each other.

"What do we do?" Ted asked.

"Shoot randomly!" Ned answered.

They pulled their triggers over and over, shooting at random. Dan went down immediately. The three girls remained.

Ted heard a footfall about three yards away to his right. He quickly spun and shot. Madison went down.

Natalie and Reagan nodded to each other, as if they knew exactly what the other was thinking.

Reagan charged at Ted. He couldn't lift his gun fast enough and the two went down, taking Ned with them.

Reagan stood up and she and Natalie started beating the two boys with their butter socks. Ned and Ted had dropped their guns and were holding up their arms, trying to protect their faces.

Sinead stood up, not able to see her brothers beat up any more. "Stop! They're done! It's over! Dan's side wins! Let's go home!"

Natalie and Reagan smiled and high-fived. They started walking back to the mansion, giving Hamilton and Ian one last whack as they passed.

Dan stood and brushed himself off. He fist-pumped. "Whoo! I told you butter socks were awesome!"

* * *

**Lol. That was fun to write XD**

**I'll post the next chapter in a while.**

**~Callie~**

**P.S. For some reason, my page break symbol-doohickies aren't appearing...**


	6. 7 Exploding Pies

**A/N: ...My mother wouldn't let me use her computer last night, and the PC has this stupid content-blocker thing that doesn't let me upload.**

**Ah. Excuses, excuses... But anyway!**

**I'll post again tonight, of course, but that's after I get done Christmas shopping. That's also part of the reason I didn't post #8 earlier yesterday - I was the chauffeur :P**

**Here's #7 for ya! Credit goes to Goth Bookworm for their exploding food idea... That gave me a good laugh ;D**

* * *

_**7 Exploding Pies**_

"Alright, whadaya want?" Nellie said. "I've got cherry, peach, blueberry, apple, chocolate, pumpkin, pecan, and coconut cream. Dig in!"

"Uh, Nellie?" Amy said. "Not that this isn't awesome, but don't you think you might have gone a little overboard with the pie? We're not going to be able to finish it all."

"Absolutely not!" Dan protested. "Pie is delicious!"

"I agree with Amy," Ian said. "It's too much."

"Come on, guys!" Dan said, grabbing a plate. "I've been waiting for Nellie to make some of these for weeks!"

Dan picked up the knife and prepared to cut into the cherry pie. But as soon as the metal connected with the crust, the whole pie blew apart.

"Whoa!" Dan yelled as he jumped back, pie remains splattering his clothes.

Nellie glared at him, fury in her eyes. "What did you do to my pie?!"

Dan held up his hands in surrender. "I don't know what happened! It just like, exploded!"

Nellie eyed him suspiciously. "I still don't fully believe you, but I'm hungry enough to let it go."

She grabbed the knife out of Dan's hand and cut into the coconut cream. The same thing happened, and the closest people were covered in pie filling.

Nellie dropped the knife, dazed. "I…it just…MY COCONUT CREAM!"

Dan wiped some filling off of his face and licked it. "Mmm…this is great!"

Amy wiped cherry off from under her eye. "Okay…maybe we should check the rest of them before we try to eat them."

"But how will we do that without it getting everywhere?" Ian asked, his expression disgusted as he, too, wiped himself clean of pie filling.

Sinead snapped her fingers. "Got it! I have a few empty glass cases back at the guest house. We can put them over the pies so they don't make too big of a mess. I'll be right back." Sinead ran outside.

Reagan and Madison were stifling laughs.

"What's so funny?" Natalie said accusingly. Her suspicious tone made everyone else glower at them with their own truth stares.

Madison couldn't take it. She burst out laughing, triggering Reagan's giggles, too. They doubled over, holding their stomachs, then slipped in pie filling and fell to the floor, still laughing.

Hamilton walked over and kicked them. "What did you do?!"

Reagan's laughter subsided until she was just gasping for breath. She held up a small remote in the palm of her hand. "It…works…!"

Madison still wasn't in control of herself.

Natalie snatched the device out of Reagan's hand. She looked at it for a brief second, then said, "Where did you get this?"

"Your room," Reagan managed. "You pack a lot of stuff for reunions like this."

"As a matter of fact, I do," Natalie admitted, "so that if twerps like Daniel get on my nerves, I can blast them to smithereens at will!" she snapped.

"Hey!" Dan protested. Natalie held up a finger to silence him.

"Furthermore," she continued, bubbling with anger, "I do not appreciate peasants like you rummaging through my belongings like you yourselves own them! How did you find this?" She shoved the remote in front of their faces for emphasis.

Madison held up her hands, still giggling. "We just wanted to see what it did."

"How did you miss the words 'miniature explosives' printed on the box _in English_?"

"Well, we didn't," Reagan said, over her laughing fit. "We saw that, but wanted to see how they worked. Nellie's pies were the perfect places to plant them."

"MY PIES ARE MASTERPIECES!" Nellie exploded. "THEY ARE NOT THINGS TO BLOW UP FOR YOUR PERSONAL ENTERTAINMENT!"

"Whoa, whoa, calm down," Jonah said, placing a hand on her shoulder. "They're not worth it."

The normal color returned to Nellie's face.

"I've got them," Sinead said, running back in the house. In her hands was a big glass case. "I could only find one, but I didn't think it mattered. Did you figure out what happened?"

Everyone pointed at the sheepish Holt twins.

Sinead rolled her eyes. "Figures." She put the glass case over the peach pie. "There's a tiny slit in the side, big enough for a knife to go through to set of the explosions. Dan, I'm guessing you'd love to do the honors."

"Absolutely!" Dan said excitedly.

All Cahills ducked for cover, expecting the glass to shatter on impact and spray shards around the room. Dan stuck the knife through the slit in the case and slowly touched the tip to the pie.

BOOM!

The glass case was no longer see-through because of the thick coating of pie filling.

Everybody seemed to relax now that they knew the glass was solid.

They repeated this process for the next four pies. Then, Dan carefully poked the apple pie.

Nothing happened.

Dan poked it again. Still no explosion.

"Huh," he said. "Guess this one's a dud."

They all exhaled.

"Well," Hamilton said. "At least we have one still intact."

"Yep," Sinead agreed, lifting the glass case and flipping it upside down.

Dan grabbed a spoon from the counter and stuck it in the case. He mixed the different fillings around, then stuck the spoon in his mouth.

"Eww!" they exclaimed.

"Dan, that's disgusting," Amy said.

Dan pulled the spoon out of his mouth. "Actually, that's heaven in a box."

A few of them grew curious and grabbed spoons, too. They tried the concoction and deemed it delicious. Then the rest of them joined the others.

"God, it's so good!" Hamilton exclaimed through his mouthful of destroyed pie.

"Shut up and eat!" Nellie said, shoveling a mostly chocolate section past her lips.

"I don't know about you guys," Dan said, swallowing, "but this is the best pie I've ever had!"

The others nodded their agreement.

"Thank you, Madison and Reagan!" Ned shouted, lifting his spoon in the air dramatically.

Everyone else repeated his words, and the two girls smiled in approval.

"So, what," Dan said. "Every time _I_ do something bad, I get in trouble, but when they do something, everyone thanks them for it?"

"Yes," Amy said. "Because what they did made our lives _better_, instead of worse."

* * *

**Replies, replies, replies are fun, replies, replies, and now they are done...**

**priceless xpressions - I updated, updated, updated, darink! Haha, the whole Hollywood impersonation...**

**readinfreak3546 - Thanks! :D Sometimes I just want to torture Ian out of my sheer moodiness. But only when I'm frustrated at something for no apparent reason :P And thanks for your suggestions! As you can see, they were very helpful ;)**

**JesseCPK - I'm happy SOMEONE got the Gone With The Wind thing! :D And thanks for your suggestions! I might be able to come up with something out of those.**

**poptropica.1997 - Thanks! It's fun to write this stuff XD**

**The Gone Angel - Actually, I'm an Ekat, but it's still fun to torture. Killing him off can be fun, but I usually don't write it down. I just ponder different scenarios in my head :3 And Dan is one of the most epic characters I've EVER read about.**

**Goth Bookworm - As soon as I invent my cloning machine, trust me, you'll be the first to use it! :D Lol. And thanks for all your suggestions! They, too, were very helpful for inspiration :D**

**Okay... Chappie 6 is a go. Now I just have to start writing it :P**

**AFTER my shopping is done, of course. For some reason, I feel like Natalie...Oh, well. Sometimes that feeling can be fun.**

**~Callie~**


	7. 6 Giant Worms

**A/N: Alright, alright, you can shoot me. I forgot I had tae kwon do and practice last night. Then I slept in this morning. But, hey, I'm in the process, right?**

**Disclaimer: I used to own worms...nothing else.**

* * *

_**6 Giant Worms**_

Natalie sat on the couch in the living room, flipping through a magazine, even though she wasn't paying much attention to it. She sighed. Who would have thought they'd see the day when Natalie Kabra was bored?

Well, she wouldn't be bored for long.

"Hey, Natalie!" Dan shouted, running into the house. _Oh, no_, she thought. _Why can't that boy just leave me alone?_

Dan ran in front of her, his hands cupped around something. His coat and jeans were wet from the snow and his face was red from the cold. But he was smiling, as if his wet pants weren't uncomfortable at all. He held out his hands.

"Look what I found!" he said excitedly. He hadn't opened his hands, though, so Natalie still couldn't see the source of his excitement.

"Excuse me, Daniel," she began, "but I do believe you need to use the restroom."

Dan frowned. "Why?"

"Because you're jumping around like you have to go," she said simply, a smirk on her face.

Dan glared at her, but his smile returned as he remembered why he had come inside. "Just look!"

He opened his hands, and curiosity got the better of Natalie as she reluctantly looked at his gloved hands.

There, in his palms, lay 6 worms.

Natalie shrieked and kicked his arms as a reflex action against something so _vile_. The writhing creatures flew about the room, landing in various places. One she saw fly into the plant in the corner. Another landed next to her on the couch. But those were the only ones she saw. She batted the one next to her away.

"How could you bring something so disgusting into the house?" she yelled.

"Why did you kick them out of my hands?" Dan demanded, ignoring her rhetorical question. "Now we have to find them before Amy and Nellie get home!"

Natalie looked confused. "Where did they go?"

"They went to the grocery store, what difference does it make?" Dan threw up his hands in exasperation. "We have to find them before they do and kill us!"

Natalie narrowed her eyes at him. "What do you mean, _we_?"

"Well, _you_ kicked them out of my hands," Dan said. "This is as much your fault as it is mine."

"You brought them into the house in the first place!" she retorted. "How did you even get to them when the earth is frozen?"

"That's exactly why I'm mad at you," Dan said. "It took me all morning to dig those up!"

Natalie shook her head. "What a way to waste the day," she muttered.

Dan growled. "Come on," he said finally. "Let's find some worms."

"One landed in the plant," Natalie said automatically. "And one is over there, on the floor. But I am _not_ picking them up. That's your job."

Dan left for the kitchen, and returned two minutes later with a glass jar. He picked up the floor worm and found the other half-buried in the dirt around the plant.

"Two down, four to go," he announced.

Natalie was looking behind the TV. "Nothing here," she said.

"None here, either," Dan replied, replacing the vase on the small table.

"You thought it would be under the vase, Daniel?" Natalie said, smirking. "You're not very good at finding things, are you?"

Dan's face went red. "Like you're much better," he murmured.

"Well, I _am_ a Lucian, after all."

"Whoop! Found one!" Dan said.

"Now we just need three more," Natalie said.

"Duh."

Natalie rolled her eyes. "Just keep looking."

"Where's that last one?" Dan said, frustrated as he searched frantically. "They'll be here any minute!"

"I don't know! Check behind your…shelves and shelves of video games? Are you really that obsessed?" she asked.

"Yes, and I already did," Dan said. "I'm surprised we haven't found it yet. Those worms were sticky and the last one could be any – "

Natalie and Dan seemed to have the same idea at the exact same time. Their eyes widened, and they looked up.

There, stuck to the ceiling, was the last worm. And it was about to fall from its spot.

"Yes!" Dan shouted, doing a little happy dance. "We found it, we found it – !"

"CATCH IT, DAN!" Natalie screamed.

Dan stopped dancing for a split second before the worm lost its grip and began its plummet back to earth. Dan lunged forward and caught it in the jar just as it was about to fall on Natalie's head.

The front door opened.

"Hey, guys!" Nellie said. "What's going on?"

She and Amy lugged the many grocery bags to the kitchen.

Dan had already whipped the jar behind his back. "Nothing!" he chirped. "We were just, uh…playing a game of catch."

Natalie elbowed him and he stifled a laugh.

"In the house?" Amy said. "Take it outside before you break something."

"Okay," Dan agreed.

Nellie and Amy disappeared into the kitchen.

Both of the worm-hunters relaxed. They were safe.

Dan laughed. "Well that was fun."

Natalie's face scrunched up in disgust. "Go dump those things outside before I kick them again."

Dan's other hand covered the jar protectively. "You will not!"

Natalie moved her foot back.

Dan ran for the door. "Oh, and by the way…"

Natalie waited.

"You called me Dan!" And with that, he dashed out the door with his worms.

Natalie chuckled and shook her head. She hated to admit it, but that boy could sometimes be fun. When he wasn't annoying her, that is.

* * *

**R's...**

**priceless xpressions - I can honestly say I didn't expect that. The thought of what you said has haunted me since you posted it. No wonder I keep having flashbacks! :P Thank you for solving my life's mysteries.**

**The Gone Angel - Haha. I didn't choose to be Ekat! Ekat chose me... That sounds ominous :P You like making DAN acronyms, don't you? Dan And Natalie, Damn Awesome Ninja... Well, you're good at it XD**

**Nova Mirage - I wouldn't suggest it. I don't think chocolate and blueberries would go all that great with each other. Lol.**

**Goth Bookworm - More suggestions? They're so random! I love it! XD**

**And, since I don't trust myself enough to post later, I'm posting the next chapter...RIGHT NOW! WAHAHA!**

**~Callie~**


	8. 5 Shrunken Heads!

**A/N: Told you. WAHAHA!**

**Disclaimer: Aww, do I have to?**

* * *

_**5 Shrunken Heads!**_

"Oh, my God, Ian, I'm so sorry!" Sinead said. "I had no idea it would have that effect!"

Ian fumed, disbelievingly looking in the mirror at himself. "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME?!"

"I, uh…I don't know, actually," Sinead admitted. "I have no clue about how this happened. I guess you'll just have to live with it for a few hours until it wears off."

"No! I will not be alone in this!" he shouted, grabbing the gun-like device out of her hand. "You shall join me!" He aimed at her.

"Oh, don't you _dare_ – " she began. She never got to finish her sentence before Ian pulled the trigger…

And shrunk her head.

Ian smiled triumphantly, which looked quite comical, with his abnormally sized face.

"I can't believe you DID THAT!" Sinead shrieked. "You will regret this!"

Ian pointed at his head. "That was just payback, Starling! I'm not regretting it in the least."

Just as Sinead was about to launch herself at him, someone burst through the door.

"You'll never guess…whoa, what happened to you two?" Dan said.

Ian sighed. "Sinead shot me with her 'shrink-ray'. Then I stole it and shot her back."

Dan was silent for a moment, taking it all in, when he burst out laughing.

Ian and Sinead grew angrier by the second as Dan fell to the floor, holding his stomach.

"Can't…breathe…too…hilarious…" He could barely get the words out.

Ian growled at him. He looked at Sinead, who nodded. Ian took aim.

Dan was no longer laughing.

"What the hell, man!" he shouted.

"Who's laughing now?" Ian taunted.

"I am," said another voice from the door.

The three cousins turned to see who would have the audacity to risk their life like that.

Of course, it was the only other Lucian on the property.

Natalie's evil smile was the biggest the three of them had seen in a long time. "I'm laughing internally," she said. "But on the outside, I'm taking blackmail photos."

That's when they noticed her smartphone in her hand.

Natalie gave one last smirk before turning and running for the mansion.

"After her!" Ian shouted. The three of them tried to follow, but apparently their equilibrium had been messed with when their heads had shrank, and they toppled over each other in the snow.

"Get off of me, Cobra!" Sinead yelled. "I'll shoot you again so you're voice will turn so high-pitched, Dan will have every reason to believe you're an alien from Mars!"

"I already do!" Dan said.

Ian rolled and stood, still a little wobbly. He caught the last glimpse of his sister before she disappeared over the hill. Then Hamilton and Jonah appeared, running toward the guest house as if it were on fire.

"Dudes," Jonah puffed when they arrived. "What happened? Why was the other Cobra running away?"

"Because we were chasing her to steal her phone," Dan replied, standing up. That's when Ham and Jonah seemed to realize why they were going to steal her phone.

Jonah was clearly trying not to laugh. "Um…" he snickered, "Why're your heads so small?"

Hamilton couldn't take it anymore and roared with laughter. Jonah followed suit, laughing at Ham's hilarious laugh.

Ian glared at them, then spoke to Sinead and Dan through the side of his mouth. "We might as well shoot everybody at this point."

Sinead gestured at the two oblivious boys in front of them. "Go ahead."

Ian pulled the trigger twice, and the laughs died down once again.

Jonah looked down at himself in surprise. "Aww…" he whined. "Not cool, bro."

"Come on," Hamilton said, shoving his hands in his pockets so he didn't punch Ian. "Let's head back."

The five of them began their trek back to the mansion, trudging through the snow. The wind seemed even more powerful than it had before, now that their skulls weren't so big. They reached the mansion in five minutes. When they walked through the big glass doors, Natalie was waiting for them.

"So, I see you've multiplied," she remarked. "Make sure your heads return to normal size before anyone else sees you. They might want to take that opportunity to get blackmail material, too."

"What's the point if you're going to distribute it anyway?" Sinead said, her voice acid.

Natalie shrugged. "I suppose that's true."

Amy walked into the living room. "What's going on? I heard – "

She stopped dead in her tracks, staring at Natalie and the five alien-like people in her living room. Her jaw dropped.

"Natalie," she said, not averting her gaze. She swallowed. "What did you do?"

"Who, me?" Natalie laughed. "I'm afraid I did nothing. This was their own fault."

"Uh…okay." Amy started backtracking slowly to the kitchen. "I'll just…um…"

She ran the last few steps.

Dan grinned. "Maybe this won't be so bad after all. We can just freak people out all day! Walk around town, see the sights, scare some babies, it'll be fun! Alien freaks, unite!"

* * *

**Haha. This chapter cracked me up ^_^**

**This was mostly meant to just be funny. Nothing more. A filler, if you will.**

**Until tomorrow, my awesome friends!  
**

**~Callie~**


	9. 4 Talking Birds

**A/N: I have to say, I'm proud of this one ;) It was fun to write.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own parrots. I don't own T39C, either...yet...**

* * *

_**4 Talking Birds**_

10 Cahills sat in the living room. Some were sprawled in various chairs and beanbags, others were talking with each other or playing games to pass the time. It was quiet for the first time in a little over a week, and everyone was determined to enjoy it.

Well, everyone except Sinead, that is.

"Guys!" she puffed, running into the living room. Her hair and coat were covered in fallen snow, and her cheeks were red from the harsh wind, so she had obviously come from outside. In her hand was a small black object.

Ian groaned. "No. I think I speak for all of us when I say I am sick and tired of your little 'inventions'."

Sinead narrowed her eyes at him. "This one is different," she insisted.

Ian threw up his hands, standing from his spot in an armchair. "I'm leaving. Call me when she puts her toy away."

Ian walked up the stairs and out of sight.

Sinead absentmindedly blew a strand of hair out of her face. "So that leaves you nine. Get up – we're taking a little field trip."

Dan grinned excitedly. "A field trip? To where?"

"You'll see if you follow me," Sinead said, catching his contagious enthusiasm. Soon, everyone else had caught the bug, avidly curious as to what Sinead was going to show them.

Once they had all gathered in the foyer, Sinead counted them to make sure no one had escaped. "All here? Good." She gestured to the big SUV in the driveway. "Pile in."

* * *

Dan's excitement had faded as soon as he saw the sign. "The _Nature Center_? You dragged me out of the house for _this_? A bunch of stupid birds and plants? Are you _insane_?"

"Nearly," Sinead admitted, dragging them all inside the building. "But I'm sure you'll like where my insanity leads us."

"As long as we don't burn down the building, I'm okay with it," Amy said. "No one has matches in their pockets, right?"

Sinead led them through the building, and for some reason, was making sure no one was around. That set off suspicious bells in the others' heads, but they followed her nonetheless.

They reached a room filled with a certain type of bird – parrots.

Natalie slowly put the pieces together, but there was still one unanswered question, which Dan took the liberty of asking: "What does your gun-thing have to do with parrots?"

"Well…" Sinead hesitated.

"Spit it out," Natalie said. "I want to know the reason you dragged us here."

Sinead exhaled. "We going to make them talk."

Hamilton's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "Wait, don't they already talk?"

"Some of them," Sinead replied. "We're going to test this," she said, holding up her device, "on that one." She pointed at a giant red and blue parrot in the corner.

"Dude," Jonah said. "It's not gonna…hurt it, right?"

Sinead shook her head, assuring him it wouldn't. "Nope. I made sure of that."

"What about this," Amy said. "What if it can already talk?"

"That's the thing," Sinead replied. "Parrots can talk, but they can't speak their mind. They only repeat what they've heard. This is going to let us hear what it actually thinks, translating it into English, of course."

A chorus of "Oh"s came from 9 mouths as they realized what was about to happen.

Sinead fiddled with her gun for a few seconds before holding it up at the bird. "Don't worry, this won't hurt. It'll just make you a little more talkative."

She pulled the trigger. Nothing happened.

"Uh…" Dan started, "it didn't do anything."

"Yes it did," Sinead assured. "Give it a few seconds."

Then, all of a sudden, "You look like you are stupid."

10 jaws dropped at the same time.

The other birds in the room repeated what their companion had said. "You look like you are stupid. You look like you are stupid."

"Yo, dawg. Which one of us looks like we're stupid?" Jonah asked.

The parrot flipped on his suspended bar. "Blond boy. Blond boy looks stupid."

Dan and Hamilton looked at each other. "There are two blond boys," Dan said.

"Scrawny blond boy," it corrected.

Hamilton snickered. "That's you, Dan-O."

Dan glared angrily at the bird. "I'm not scrawny! It might not look like it, but I have muscles under this shirt!"

"Scrawny blond boy, scrawny blond boy," the other birds chorused.

Dan gritted his teeth as the others laughed.

"Dan-O is a stupid name," the bird added.

"Hey!" Dan defended. "That's my nickname."

"I have made my point," it said.

The others laughed again.

"Sinead, is there a reverse button on that thing?" Dan asked.

"Yeah, why?"

Dan took it out of her hands, flipping it over. "Where is it?"

Sinead snatched it back. "You will _not_ reverse it! You're witnessing a scientific breakthrough, here!"

"Nerd girl! Nerd girl! _Squawk_!" the bird exclaimed. "Big words!"

Hamilton laughed as Sinead's jaw dropped disbelievingly. "Sinead, he _nailed_ your personality!"

"I am a female, sexist pig," the bird said angrily.

The bird leaned menacingly in Hamilton's direction, and he backed away, palms up. "Sorry. I didn't know."

"You know now, idiot."

"Hey!"

"Okay, I'm reversing it," Sinead said, holding up the gun. She pushed a button and the bird stopped talking.

Amy turned around the room. "Maybe the others aren't so rude."

"Yeah! Let's go try those!" Ned and Ted said, having enjoyed the previous exchange and eager for more.

Natalie flipped her hair and sighed. "Alright, but make it quick. I have a life outside of science, you know."

Sinead lifted her gun, zeroed in on the other three birds in the room, and shot the invisible beams at them one by one.

They all squawked at the same time.

"It's too bad Ian isn't here to see this," Amy said. "He would've loved listening to birds insult Dan about stupidity and scrawniness."

Dan groaned. "I'm not stupid or scrawny!"

"I know," Amy soothed, putting a hand on his shoulder. "But it was still funny."

Dan crossed his arms, brooding.

"Stupid and scrawny! Stupid and scrawny!"

Dan face-palmed. "Aw, not you guys, too!"

Sinead looked puzzled. "They all spoke at the same time…"

"We are female!"

Dan stuck his tongue out at them. "Like I care."

"They did it again," Jonah said, creeped out. "It's like they share a brain or something."

Sinead's eyes lit up and she snapped her fingers. "I've got it!"

They all looked at her expectantly.

"I pulled the trigger on all of them at almost the same time. Maybe there's something wrong with the frequencies of the device that – "

Hamilton groaned loudly to get her to stop talking. "Please don't go off on another science-lecture. No one really cares about why they're all talking at the same time."

Sinead glared at him. "I do, so I can _fix the problem_."

"Well, you don't need to confuse us with your…"

Amy sighed. "They're at it again," she muttered.

"Over something totally pointless," Dan agreed.

Natalie rolled her eyes. "I'm leaving. I've seen enough and I'm missing my programs."

She turned and headed for the parking lot.

Reagan whispered something to her twin that the rest of them heard. "Let's ditch. It'll be awhile before they stop."

Madison nodded and the two started backing away silently, followed by the other 5. As soon as their backs hit the door, they made a run for the SUV, leaving Sinead and Hamilton to continue their heated argument alone.

Amy climbed into the front seat. "Everybody buckle up."

Everyone's seatbelt buckles clicked in the locks and Amy turned the key.

"So, we're just leaving them here?" Dan asked from the shotgun seat.

Natalie replied from the back. "Yes. Now let's _go_."

Amy nodded, shifting into drive. "They'll find a way home when they're done. Who's hungry? I'm thinking Arby's."

* * *

**Goth Bookworm - I'm not much of a Danatalie shipper, but sometimes I'll just feel like reading a fic or two, you know? But that was more of a 'friends' thing :P And now that you suggested that, I think I'm gonna write a second story based on their little adventure through the city XD I think that story would be completely hilarious!**

**Nova Mirage - Oh, gosh, you were SO CLOSE! I had this one planned out already, though :P It's funny how close you were to guessing what I was about to write! :D But thanks for the suggestion!**

**beachbum999 - Believe me, I'm an obsessed fangirl too :P But someone already asked me to do that, and I told them I wanted to keep it as normal as possible, which, sadly, doesn't entail Amian fluff :/ But I told the other person I'd write an Amian story and dedicate it to them. I could do the same for you, if you'd like :) In fact, I already have one typed up that I haven't posted yet. I could just slap your username into the dedications spot! :P And thanks for the ideas! I might have a use for those in the future...*rubs hands in an evil fashion* yes, many uses...**

**addicted2reading9 - *shudder* I hate those things. They're so creepy! D: But thanks! :D**

**readinfreak3546 - I hope I have just enough 'genius' left to get me through the rest of this story :P I wouldn't call it _genius_, but, you know, I try .-. And the shrunken heads idea? You can thank my sister for that one. She came up to me randomly and said she had an idea for the story and I laughed so hard at it, I just HAD to use it! I have to admit, she has her moments :P Hyper girls, huh? Hmm...I might be able to combine yours and beachbum999's ideas...oh, yes, I see the chapter forming, now...YES...WAHAHA, this is gonna be GOOD! :D**

**The Gone Angel - But I thought that's what the Done stories were for? ;D You'd like to join the alien freaks? Maybe when I write _that_ story, you can be the random passerby that gets in the way and they laser-shoot you XD Oh, my, I have a weird imagination... Sometimes it's not as fun as I'd like it to be...**

**Ah, so, like it? Love it? Hate it? I enjoy your reviews :D They always make me laugh. And your suggestions are all so good, but I can't fit all of them into the story :/ I wish I could, though. And, by the way, I already have a pretty good idea for the next two chaps, but I can't come up with a good lyric and story for the last one. Do you guys have any good lyrics that would be a good conclusion? But the words have to match the syllables and what-not, too. I'd like to sing this around the house all day when this is done :P I think it would make for a very interesting song to sing at random times in front of friends and family, don't you? :D**

**Keep those ideas coming, guys. They help a lot!**

**~Callie~**


	10. 3 Ninjas

**A/N: This one is probably not going to be as good as the others, seeming as how I waited until 10 at night to start writing it. Eh, oh well. I tried. How many of you have seen the movie '3 Ninjas'? I freaking love that movie! :D**

**Disclaimer: Candyland is a wonderful place, but sadly, I don't own it, or The 39 Clues.**

* * *

**_3 Ninjas_**

"Nellie!" Dan yelled in realization. "Christmas is only two days away and we haven't even decorated the house yet!"

Nellie pulled a single earbud out and kept her focus on the cookie dough she was mixing as she answered, "We got the tree up."

Dan threw his hands up. "Wow, one tree. That's not enough! We need lights! And those leafy things that you hang on the ceiling!"

"Mistletoe?" Nellie guessed.

"Yeah!" Dan said. "That!"

Nellie scoffed in disbelief. "You are one of the last people I'd think would want mistletoe anywhere _near_ our house."

Dan frowned. "Why?"

Nellie put down her spoon and looked at him, an amused smirk on her face. "Do you even know what happens with mistletoe?"

Dan furrowed his brows. "Aren't they just there for decoration."

Nellie laughed and kept stirring. "Partly. When two people are caught underneath it, they have to kiss, and they can't back out of it. It's like, the rules of the universe."

Dan looked horrorstricken.

"Nevermind the mistletoe!" he shouted. "But we still need more stuff!"

Nellie laughed.

* * *

"Amy! You have to help me decorate the house!" Dan said, running up to his sister, tripping through a drift of snow.

Amy shook her head. "Sorry, dweeb. I'm busy."

Dan looked skeptically at her. "Busy with what?"

"I'm finding something for Sinead. She said she dropped some invention out here or something, but she's fixing her bird-ray or whatever."

"Why? So it doesn't make birds insult people?" Dan asked.

"No, something about expanding the 'animal horizons'. It won't just work on birds," Amy explained, digging through the snow.

"Ah," Dan said, not understanding at all, but wanting to get to the point faster. "But you need to help me decorate the mansion! It's all…boring. And not at all Christmas-y."

"We put up the tree," Amy pointed out. "And you spent all day decorating it with random junk from your room."

"What is it with you people and the simple stuff? Where are the complexities?!" Dan said, turning around and walking away.

* * *

_Who to ask next?_

Dan plopped down on the couch, wracking his brain for people to ask for help on his decorating mission. Hamilton was in town getting food. Jonah was writing a new song and 'couldn't be disturbed while creating genius', and Ian and Natalie were _definitely_ out of the question. Ned and Ted were with their sister, working on the bird-gun in the lab. So, that left…

_Who else is here?_

Suddenly a light bulb appeared out of nowhere above his head, shining brightly in the dimly lit room.

Madison and Reagan! They'd be willing, right? Weren't they into that whole holiday spirit stuff?

Dan sprinted for the game room, where he knew they were probably fighting over games.

"Madison, Reag – whoa, what happened?" Dan asked, stunned in the doorway.

The Holt twins looked up at him. Madison was holding her sister down, her fist in the air as if ready to come down on Reagan's face. Reagan had been smirking, like she was daring Madison to hit her. The giant flat screen on the wall was shattered and glass littered the floor. Dan glared at them from the doorway at the destruction of his favorite TV, and the girls smiled apologetically at him.

"Sorry, Dan," they said simultaneously.

"Madison was about to beat me on Mario Kart," Reagan said.

"So she knocked the controller out of my hands before I crossed the finish line," Madison continued, "but she still lost."

Madison smirked triumphantly at her twin, who stuck her tongue out.

Dan shook his head. "Whatever. I have a request for the both of you."

The two girls looked at him expectantly.

"How would you like…to be my partners in crime?"

Reagan smiled excitedly, but Madison narrowed her eyes. "Partners for what?"

Dan smiled. "We're gonna decorate the house for Christmas."

Reagan's excitement faded, and she smirked. "That sounds really stupid."

Dan rolled his eyes. "You don't understand. Do you know how much fun we could have with this? As long as we're careful, of course…"

Madison crossed her arms. "Careful about what?"

Dan laughed. "Don't ask so many questions – it ruins the fun. Just say you'll help me."

Madison and Reagan shared a look, then shrugged. "We're in."

"As long as there's plenty of mistletoe," Reagan added. "That could be hilarious."

Madison smacked her. "You're such a girl!"

* * *

"Attention all Cahills!" a voice boomed. In various rooms of the house, 9 Cahills looked up in confusion. Were there speakers all over the house now?

"You must all gather in the living room immediately! Something important has happened! Hurry – your lives may depend on it!"

At those last words, they all rushed into the living room anxiously, thinking something bad had happened.

They were soon disappointed. For as soon as they all gathered, chatting worriedly about possibilities, like: "Where are Dan and Reagan and Madison?" and "Why would something bad happen right before Christmas?", they got their answers.

The lights went out, and as soon as one of the girls in the room shrieked, laser lights turned on, moving around the room like a laser light show. A spotlight trained itself to where it shone up the staircase, and three figures clad in black jumped down, doing flips and tricks without touching one stair.

As soon as the figures struck their signature poses, the tallest one in the middle, the lights came back in, and they all recognized the eyes of Dan, Madison and Reagan, sparkling with excitement through their masks.

Nobody said anything, until Dan said.

"Introducing, the Christmas Ninjas!"

For a few more seconds the room was silent, until Amy shook her head and said, "I'm leaving." She walked out of the room swiftly, off to do other, more important things.

Ian and Sinead soon followed suit, leaving in opposite directions.

Nellie laughed and walked back to the kitchen after hearing the oven timer go off.

The others filed out a few seconds after that, leaving the three ninjas to do their thing.

Dan gathered the Holt twins in a small huddle. "Alright. Madison, you put up the lights outside – make it sparkle. Reagan, you can put as much mistletoe up as you want – just tell us where it all is so we can avoid it. I'll take care of the rest. Ready, break!"

Madison darted out the front door with a big box of lights, and Reagan ran off with yarn and a bag of holly, ready to create some funny memories. Dan rubbed his hands together mischievously. The rest was up to him, and it was going to be _sweet_.

* * *

Dan pulled on Amy's arm desperately, finally falling to the floor for one last attempt, and she was _still _dragging him through the house, refusing to follow him.

"Aaaamyyyyy," he whined, "my butt's starting to hurt from the carpeeeeeet…"

"That is not. My. Problem," she said, each word coupled with a yank to try and shake her brother off. "Now let go of me!"

"Not until you come with meeeeee!" Dan said pleadingly.

Amy reached the kitchen where Nellie was singing happily to her iPod, making dinner. As soon as they hit the tile floor, Dan slid around easier and she didn't have to use so much force to drag him throughout the house.

She stopped in front of Nellie and tapped her shoulder with her free hand.

"Nellie," she said. Nellie pulled out an earbud.

"What's up, kid – Oh. I don't even need to ask," she said, noticing Dan sitting on the kitchen floor, hanging onto his sister's arm with a death-grip.

"Uh…" Nellie said, looking around the kitchen for something. "I've got something that can help…"

Nellie opened a few cabinets, pulled out a few drawers, and finally found what she was looking for in her tool drawer. She wielded the metal meat tenderizer, holding it above her head like she would hit Dan in the face with it. "Say hello to my little friend, dude."

Dan squeaked and automatically let go of Amy's arm, getting up and sprinting away.

Nellie laughed and set her weapon back in the drawer. "Get's him every time."

"Um…" Amy said, glancing worriedly back at where Dan's frightened form had been. "Thanks…I guess."

"No prob. You can thank me later," Nellie replied, going back to her cooking.

* * *

"Okay, everybody! I'd like to show you, finally, what I've done with our house," Dan said.

Amy leaned over to Sinead. "I'm still not sure how he managed to convince us to leave the house for an hour."

Sinead shrugged, just as confused.

Dan's hand hovered over the doorknob. "Are you all ready to face the awesomeness?"

Natalie sighed, shivering. "Just get it over with, Daniel. I'm freezing out here in the cold."

Dan shrugged. "Shoulda brought a coat."

Natalie glared at him, and he twisted the knob, revealing his masterpiece for everyone to see.

He spread his hands wide. "Welcome to Candyland."

Every Cahill was dumbstruck as they walked through the threshold.

Hamilton, Jonah, Ned, and Ted all thought: Is that a _chocolate pool_? Awesome!

Ian, Natalie, and Sinead thought: Somehow, I'm going to end up cleaning this mess.

Amy and Nellie thought: _What did he do to the house?!_

Madison and Reagan walked in.

"They like it?" Reagan asked.

Dan nodded. "Most of them. Amy and Nellie look like they wanna kill me, but they'll get over it."

Amy gestured to Dan's 'Candyland'. "What does this even have to do with Christmas? That's what you've been whining about all day."

Dan walked over to his makeshift candy cane forest. Candy canes three feet tall littered the entranceway. "Helloooo," he said, picking one up. "Candy canes!"

Amy rolled her eyes.

Reagan tapped her twin in excitement. And kept tapping.

"Dude, cut it out!" Madison said, shoving her hand away. "What?"

Reagan looked like she was about to double over. "Look. In the doorway."

Madison's eyes followed her sister's pointed finger and she gasped. Then she laughed.

Nellie turned. "What?" she whispered. "Whatever it is, I want in on it!"

Madison pointed, and Nellie saw it immediately.

"Oh, God," she exclaimed, doubling over, giggling uncontrollably. "Oh, God, it hurts!"

Amy turned to her, a peculiar look of alarm on her face. "What? What's going on?"

Nellie wiped her eyes. "Don't look up, kiddo."

Amy could already guess. So she didn't look up.

"What are you all going on about," Ian asked next to her.

Amy covered his eyes with her hand and shut her own tightly. "If you look up, I'm re-cloning Saladin."

The two walked forward slowly, Ian already having caught on to what was happening.

When the two were sure the ultimate danger was gone, they opened their eyes and looked back at the doorway. The single piece of holly mocked them from the ceiling.

Reagan started complaining immediately. "Aw! You ruined it!"

Amy smirked at her in triumph, relieved she hadn't had to suffer the embarrassment of the long-standing traditions of mistletoe.

Madison shrugged. "Oh, well."

"Hey! But, isn't this glorious?" Dan said, gesturing wildly at the giant versions of candy around the room. "Giant gummy bears, marshmallow pillows… What could possibly be better than this?"

"You cleaning up your own mess for once?" Amy suggested. She pulled out a giant trash bag from a nearby closet and threw it at him. "Start cleaning."

Dan caught it with ease, hopping down from his position on the couch. "Alright, but remember this! Those last brief moments of awesome…you can thank the Christmas Ninjas for your few short minutes of happiness!"

"You mean, my near death experience?" Ian said.

Amy looked up at him. "Kissing me would have been a near death experience?"

The room grew quiet. Ian struggled to redeem himself.

"No, no, that's not what I meant – "

His voice trailed off at Amy's amused expression.

"I _would_ be offended," she said, "if I hadn't been thinking the same thing a few minutes ago. Thank you, Madison and Reagan, for saving my life by your laughter."

"Yeah!" Madison shouted, high-fiving her twin. "And the Christmas Ninjas save the day again!"

* * *

**Crappiest ending EVER, but I'm over it. I'm tired and want to go to sleep [=.=]**

**Replies though, before I hit the hay. Haha. Horse humor. **

**Oh, God, I _really_ need some sleep if I thought that was funny...**

**Author Chin - That's awesome! I'm probably gonna sing this song all day long on Christmas. Time to annoy my parents :P**

**addicted2reading9 - I love long reviews! :D Okay, so, I thought about that other-animal thing while I wrote that ^ so I put it in there that Sinead was modifying it, like putting different settings in and stuff :P Haha, your review was so scientific and stuff! The first time I read it I got confused, but I slowly understood after awhile XD**

**readinfreak3546 - I thought about making it Hamilton, but I thought Dan would take it worse :P And I think you'll like the next chapter, then.**

**Eternal Huntress of the Night - Hey, Ashlyn! :P If I put ANY romance in it, it'd have to be Amian. That is like, my top couple priority. Sorry! XD **

**The Gone Angel - Yes, you told me. I showed my sister and she laughed. XP**

**Goth Bookworm - I laughed as I wrote that into the story :P My sister looked at me with a weird expression on her face, but it was so worth it.**

**Nova Mirage - Haha. Hobo in the bedroom...? Has that happened to you in the past or something? 'Cause that's extremely random .-.**

**Alright, I'm too tired to do anything else. Goodbye.**

**~ ...**


	11. 2 Giant Snowballs

**A/N: Hey, don't judge! Christmas Eve was busy! And this morning I was preoccupied with a very intense game of Risk! (Actually, we didn't bother reading the rules and had no idea as of what to do...but whatever. It was fun taking over my brother. He has no sense of strategy.) Anyway, I'm lucky I got all my chapters done, actually. Replies at the end, like always! The ideas for this chapter were inspired by readinfreak3546 and beachbum999 for hyperactive girls and snowballs. Inspiration Is Golden :)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own much...but I do own chocolate.**

* * *

_**2 Giant Snowballs**_

"No! No! Stay away from me! Anything 'edible' you made is either poisonous or will make me explode or something!" Nellie screeched.

Sinead persisted. "Just try it! I want to see if it tastes good, it won't kill you."

Nellie narrowed her eyes. "That doesn't mean it won't put me to sleep for a very long time. Just keep in mind, if I slip into a coma, you all are doomed. None of you can cook."

Sinead sighed. "It's just a cookie. I promise I didn't do anything to it. Here, I'll even eat a piece of it."

Nellie was still wasn't phased. "The only way I'm going to eat a _crumb_ of that thing is if Amy eats it. Maybe even Natalie. She can probably sniff poison from a mile away."

Sinead huffed, but called the other two into the kitchen. They were there in a few seconds.

"What's up?" Amy wondered.

"Sinead's trying to poison me," Nellie said.

Amy's eyes widened and she opened her mouth to say something before Nellie cut in again.

"Not literally," she added.

Her mouth closed.

"I wanted her to try it and see if it was good, but she's afraid I tainted it with science," Sinead said.

"Do you blame me?"

Natalie looked at it. "Well, it's not poisoned, really. It just smells a little weird."

"Ah ha!" Nellie exclaimed, pointing an accusing finger at the Starling.

"That doesn't mean anything!" Sinead protested. "Here, just a little piece."

She broke the sugar cookie into four equal pieces and distributed it among the girls.

"We eat it at the same time," Nellie said. "I don't want you cheating."

"Fine, fine. Go," Sinead said, lifting the cookie bite to her lips. The other three did the same.

Suddenly, Sinead smiled. "You know…I feel, like…awesome."

Amy nodded vigorously. "I just wanna do something."

Natalie started giggling uncontrollably.

"Hey," Nellie said. She pointed out the window. "Snow!"

"Snow?!" the others said simultaneously. They whipped around and ran to the window.

"Snow!"

"Have you ever wanted to just, like, make the biggest snowball possible?" Sinead said. "We could do that. We could sooooooooooooooo do that."

"Yes!" Natalie shouted. "Let's go, let's go!"

She ran out the door without even grabbing her coat.

"Follow!" Nellie said. "Snowball time!"

Amy followed the others out, just as excited.

Dan, Hamilton, Jonah, and Ian stood in the living room, watching the scene with avid curiosity.

Dan stared after them with wide eyes. "What was that, exactly?"

"I have no earthly idea," Ian answered.

"They weren't even talkin' in complete sentences, yo," Jonah commented. "You notice that?"

* * *

Hamilton looked down at his watch, pausing the video game he was playing. "They've been out there for two hours. Do you think we should go looking for them?"

Dan shook his head. "Nah. Send Ian out."

"Kabra!" Ham shouted. "Go look for the girls!"

"Why should I?" Ian asked from the doorway.

Hamilton shrugged. "Your sister's out there. Just saying."

Ian sighed and grabbed his coat off the hook. "Fine. But if I'm not back in 15 minutes, come looking for me."

"Will do," Dan said.

Ian walked out the door.

Dan snorted. Hamilton looked at him quizzically.

"We're not going after him, are we?" Dan said.

"Absolutely not," Hamilton agreed, unpausing the game.

* * *

"Natalie!" Ian called. He looked around the perimeter of the guesthouse. There had been no sign of any of the girls anywhere around the mansion, and it looked like they weren't there, either.

"Sinead? Amy?" Nothing.

He decided to call the babysitter, too. Just in case. "Nora!"

"Who's Nora?" came the response.

"Natalie? Is that you?" Ian said, turning around. He saw a flash of reddish-brown hair disappear around the other side of the building.

Ian grinned. "I saw you."

"Saw who?" This voice came from behind him. He wheeled. No one was standing there, like he'd expected.

"It's Christmas Eve, Ian."

"Did you know that, Ian?"

"Look up, Ian."

"What in the bloody – "

_Smash!_

* * *

The boys heard the scream all the way from the guesthouse.

Dan and Hamilton jumped and dropped their controllers.

"What was that?" Hamilton asked.

"I don't know, but maybe we should go find out," Dan said, starting for the door.

Hamilton grabbed his shoulder and yanked him back. "No, dude! What if it's them? You saw the crazy in their eyes just like I did!"

"Yeah," Dan said, "and they did something to Ian! I want to know what happened so I can make fun of him for it!"

He took another step, but still, Hamilton held him back. "What if the same thing happens to us?"

"Then I have my emergency stash," Dan said, walking to a closet and opening the door.

He pulled out a small black bag.

"Well, whatever's in it, it better be girl-proof."

"I have a good feeling," Dan replied. "Let's head out. Get Jonah."

The Wizard walked down the stairs as if on cue. "Hey, guys. I wanted to – "

"It'll have to wait," Hamilton replied, steering Jonah toward the door.

* * *

When they finally found Ian Kabra, they didn't see what they'd expected.

A snowball fight, maybe. But not one where Ian was at a _complete_ disadvantage.

In fact, he couldn't even _move_.

"Could I have some help, please?" Ian asked from the depths of the snow.

"Dude, you're like, buried alive," Hamilton commented. "Almost three feet deep. You sure you can't get out yourself?"

Ian stared at him blankly. "Don't you think I would have tried already?"

Hamilton shrugged, then pulled Ian out by the only visible limb – his foot.

"No, you oaf! Not like that!" Ian bellowed.

Hamilton dropped him.

"What happened?" Dan inquired.

Ian stood and brushed himself off. "Two of them distracted me on the ground while the other two rolled a huge ball of snow off the roof."

"Off the roof?" Jonah said in disbelief.

Ian nodded.

"Oh, booooys…"

The four of them looked up.

Amy and Sinead smiled down at them from the guesthouse roof.

"We have something for you," Amy said. "You stay right there."

"Oh, no," Ian muttered. "It's happening again."

Sinead walked back so they couldn't see her anymore. Then, she took a running leap and jumped.

"No! What the hell are you doing?" Hamilton shouted.

"She's gonna die!" Dan yelled.

"No, she's not," Ian said.

Sinead, being the Ekat she was, pushed a set of buttons in her hands and her self-invented mechanical wings flicked out from the specially designed leather jacket.

"Phew! That was close," Jonah said.

Plop!

Natalie, Amy, and Nellie all laughed at them from the roof. Sinead flew back and soon joined them, noticing that this snowball had been twice as big as the last.

Amy suddenly zeroed in on something in Dan's hand. She stopped. "I spy with my little eye…"

"Something snowy?" Sinead suggested.

Amy shook her head. "Something _sugary_."

The other three gasped and stared down at them, eagerly searching for whatever Amy was seeing.

"Everybody off the roof!" Sinead ordered. "Now! I want sugar!"

They bailed, climbing down the ladder with nearly superhuman speed, running to the groaning boys in the snow.

Amy snatched the black bag out of her brother's hand and opened it. "Skittles!"

"Skittles!" the others repeated in excitement.

Amy dumped it on the ground.

"Skittles for all!" Natalie exclaimed.

Sinead and Nellie grabbed the same pack of Skittles at the same time and immediately started fighting over it.

"It's mine!" Sinead shouted, yanking the guardian down.

"Give them back!" Nellie screamed, shoving Sinead's face into the snow.

Sinead let go of the Skittles, sending them flying a few yards away. Natalie snatched them before they even hit the ground and took off toward the mansion, giggling as she left the others chasing after her, screaming protests the whole way.

Dan groaned. "They stole…my Skittles."

"I can't believe you call that your 'emergency pack'," Hamilton grumbled next to him.

"No one can have too many Skittles during an emergency," Dan retorted.

Jonah scrambled up, already having dug himself out of the snow. "Come on, guys! They got the Skittles!"

"Well help us up, then!" Ian shouted.

* * *

_Meanwhile, back at headquarters…_

* * *

All four girls lay sprawled on the living room floor, moaning and holding their heads. Skittles littered the floor, their wrappers carelessly thrown around.

"Sinead…" Nellie winced at the pain in her temples. "I am going to kill you."

"It's not my fault," Sinead grumbled. "That was my first time."

"Ugh, you've _never_ made cookies before?" Natalie said. "Even I've made them."

"Everybody, just shut up." Amy groaned. "What the heck was in it that made us go all 'psychotic-giggler'?"

"Ask me in about three hours," Sinead responded, closing her eyes. "My brain is mush."

Then the boys ran in.

"You almost killed us!" Dan accused.

Natalie waved him off. "I don't remember much, but I'm sure you deserved it."

* * *

**Looking back at 3 Ninjas...I feel, like, sick inside. That was bad. I seriously wish I had written it earlier in the day so it could be better, but *shrugs* what's past is past! And now I'm moving on! **

**Replies - **

**Goth Bookworm - Hey, you never know. I could've been up for the past 3 or 4 days doing nothing but writing. (Lol no I wasn't...) But no matter how much I try (and I never try) I can't stay up late. Ever. And sleep is too precious for me to waste :P**

**addicted2reading9 - Yeah...I've thought about that, and in the past stories I've read, they always have to kiss _after they look up and see it_. Now, whether my version is correct or not, the world may never know, but I felt like it :P I can't torture Amy and Ian too much or I feel bad XD And thank you for reminding me! I knew it sounded wrong when I wrote it, but I shrugged and ignored it. Holly and Mistletoe are two different plants. And don't get me started on the ninjas thing -.- I've gone through that ninja-phase, like every good 12 year old should, and I actually conducted a good amount of research on them. Granted, I forgot most of it :P But I do remember that ninjas do have honor, they just don't have loyalty like samurai. Everyone has honor :D Shoot, even I have honor. It's just I don't do much to damage it, with my boring life XD**

**Allycat4563 - Dangit! I just remembered. I was going to use part of your idea, but I totally forgot about it! I'm sorry :/ I was going to use the Natalie-throwing-a-chair-at-Dan thing, because she could've easily blamed it on the sugar rush or whatever! Ugh! Well, thanks for your idea. It was really good :)**

**Author Chin - That's awesome! :D Thanks for sharing it with me! I love the last part :D**

**aquamarineturqoise39 - That would have scared the crap out of me! :O**

**readinfreak3546 - I agree, that should've happened. I was, like, really zoning out though. I was out of my element :P And I like writing Amy with sass. In my personal opinion, it makes for a better story ;)**

**Shimmering Icicles - OH MY GOD! THAT'S ONE OF MY FAVORITE MOVIES OF ALL TIME! :DDDDD Let's fangirl scream together - AHHH! .-. My favorite used to be Colt, but it kinda switched to Rocky, 'cause he's kind of a nerd, if you think about it. I haven't seen the movies in so long :'( Now I wish I would've gotten them for Christmas... We used to rely on Netflix to supply our daily doses of 3 Ninjas but they took it off! I was so mad :(**

**The Gone Angel - ...What part?**

**And now, I'm going to post the final chapter. None of you could for-see the next events...NONE! It is impossible because it's just so...random :P**

**~Callie~**


	12. Some People Fighting Over Krispy Kreme

**A/N: And...here it is! The moment we've all been waiting for! The not-so-epic finale! :D **

**Disclaimer: I don't own The 39 Clues**

**Here's your final lyric:**

* * *

_**And some people fighting over Krispy Kreme**_

Dan's eyelids slowly peeled open. He felt like today was an important day, but he couldn't think. It was like his mind was frozen, like the ground outside.

Frozen ground.

Cold.

Snow.

White.

White Christmas by Bing Crosby…

Oh, God.

He was late!

Dan flipped off the covers and ran out the door, not bothering to make sure he even had pants on. Someone would let him know eventually.

He pushed his sister's door open and flipped on her bedroom lights, hearing her protests as he took the stairs two at a time.

Dan jumped the remaining steps and rolled into the living room.

"Like a ninja," he whispered.

Then he saw the mass of presents under the tree.

"Score!" he yelled, diving into them.

"Everybody, get your butts down here before I drag you!" Dan shouted, searching frantically for one of his. But he saw none so far.

Nellie stumbled down the stairs, wearing pajama pants and a hoodie. She rubbed her eyes. "Whatcha doin', kiddo?"

"Did I get _nothing_?!" Dan said.

Nellie laughed. "Keep searching. I'm sure you'll find 'em." She shuffled off to the kitchen.

Hamilton, Ian, Amy, Sinead, and Madison came down at the same time. Dan had found one of his presents and was tearing open the paper.

"Dan, why don't you wait 'til the rest of us get down here?" Amy suggested.

Dan grumbled, but set the half-opened gift back down. He stood.

"What's for breakfast?" he asked.

Hamilton started for the kitchen. "I saw Nellie bring in some Krispy Kreme last night."

Dan raced him to where a startled Nellie stood pouring coffee.

Then the doorbell rang.

Dan stood, hovering over the red and white box of donuts, nearly drooling in anticipation.

Nellie rolled her eyes. "Go answer the door, then you can attack it."

Dan sighed, but walked to the front door. Who would be knocking on their door this early, though?

He unlocked the top three deadbolts and turned the knob.

Fiske smiled at him from behind a giant bag of presents. "Sorry I've been gone. Madrigal business."

"Say no more," Dan said. "Let me take this off your hands."

Dan reached for the bag, but Fiske shook his head. "That's okay, I've got it."

Fiske shooed him away.

Dan ran back to the kitchen and his mind was once again occupied with the thought of donuts. "MINE!"

Nellie whacked him away. "No! Back!"

Dan stuck his bottom lip out. "But why!"

"Because these are MY Christmas present!" Nellie said. "From myself!"

"So, what, we can't have any?" Dan protested.

"Nope. They're here just to taunt you."

Hamilton gasped in horror in the corner. "That's not fair!"

Nellie laughed. "Life's not fair, dude. But I'm sure you know that."

Reagan, Ned, Ted, and Natalie walked through the doorway.

"Does anyone else smell donuts?" Reagan said. "'Cause I smell donuts."

"Yeah," Dan answered. "But they're Nellie's donuts."

Reagan snorted. "So?"

"She won't let us have any!" Hamilton complained.

Natalie scoffed. "Are none of you actually Cahills?" She walked forward, picked up the box, and ran off.

Nellie stood there in disbelief. "She…she took…my donuts…"

"Yeah, Natalie!" Dan shouted, running after her. "No surrender! Donuts forever!"

"No!" Nellie yelled. "It doesn't end like this!" She took off after the two thirteen-year-olds.

The two Holts looked at each other.

"Should we join them?" Reagan asked.

Hamilton shook his head. "Nah. They'll get caught up in the fighting and then we'll steal them. They won't even notice."

They saw the others fighting over the donuts in the living room.

"Aw, man!" Reagan said. "Now everybody's in on it!"

Ian was trying to keep Jonah pinned to the floor. Jonah was trying to reach Madison, who was now holding the box of donuts. Madison was shoving Dan away with her free hand, and Dan tried and failed at keeping Amy from dragging him off. Sinead had Nellie's arms behind her back.

"Ned! Ted! Get the box!" she shouted.

Her brothers raced to obtain the box, but Hamilton intercepted it from Madison's grasp and ran up the stairs.

They all gave up after that. No one was going to beat Hamilton when he was that determined.

Nellie, meanwhile, looked like she was about to cry. "My donuts," she whimpered.

Sinead let her go. "You should've known this was going to happen, Nellie," she said.

"I wanted to flaunt my stash," Nellie said. "But now my stash is in the meat-head's stomach."

"Presents!" Dan cried suddenly.

Fiske had walked through the door. In his arms were at least 15 big gifts. "Hello, everyone," Fiske greeted. "Would someone like to help me?"

* * *

The Holt sisters were racing monster trucks around everybody's feet, music was blaring from Nellie's new stereo system, and 4 other people were crowding around the coffee table, watching a very interesting game of Risk.

Everyone had, of course, voted that the Lucians not play.

Just as Amy had been about to attack Sinead's Mongolia and possibly take control of the entire Asian continent, Hamilton walked down the stairs – this time, with a wrapped gift in his hands.

He handed it to Nellie, who looked at him skeptically. He nodded, and she tore off the paper.

She gasped. "My donuts!"

"Er…" Hamilton started. "Well…"

Nellie opened the box and laughed. "Wow. Nice, Ham."

Inside, laid a single glazed donut.

Nellie shook her head. "You're so generous to leave me the last one," she said sarcastically.

She looked back at the box and her eyes widened.

"WHO TOOK IT!"

All eyes pointed at Dan, whose cheeks were puffed out – like he'd just eaten something.

He took a shot at a sweet, innocent smile, but Nellie glared at him. So, he just said, "Merry Christmas, everybody!" before taking off at a run.

* * *

**In the wise words of Daniel Arthur Cahill, I say to you - **

**Merry Christmas, everybody! :D**

**~Callie~**


End file.
